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Helga’s Journal: Entry 1
(Oct 2018)
So, we went to Hell to deliver the letter from Enial to this undead snake guy. This hell is different from the place where everyone is naked and lies all the time; in this one everyone tries to rip you off. It's like pretty much every market in the world, I guess. Luckily, we keep finding money that belonged to guys we kill, so we're pretty loaded right now.
It started off boring, just talking to guys in an inn a lot and moving a mirror from our room around. I ended up standing around being a bodyguard at the bar while the Bishop, Balbito, and Reinhalt were pumping guys for information. I mean, I couldn't even get drunk. I started counting the stains on the ceiling. There was this big one that looked kind of like a cross between a duck and a wagon.
Then things picked up. This snake girl who was following Reinhalt around for some reason got wise to us and starting yelling a bunch of stuff. And suddenly, it was like half of hell was after us. Maybe more. No way even I could fight my way out of that, so we had to run for it. I held off the demons at the bar until everyone else got out. This one frog demon kept chasing us, so I took a swing at him. (Toby: I think it was a Hezrou)
Man, you guys remember when you were kids and you used to cut open frogs and throw them at your brothers until your dad told you to cut that shit out and keep plowing? It was just like that - he tried to hit me back but he had trouble 'cuz he was holding his guts inside with his other hand. He didn't follow us after that!
Then there was a big chase scene with polar bears and fake walls and stuff, and long story short we all jumped through a gate to get away. Well, most of us did. Maybe I should have stayed, considering the guys I left behind can't fight worth a damn, and there were still some pretty tough demons around. Still, I'm not going to be around forever, right? They're gonna have to learn how to handle themselves some day.
Oh yeah, our teamster didn't make it. Bill, or Frank or someone? (Toby: His name was Jeffrey) Yeah, him. I mean, he must have known the risks of coming to hell with us, but it still kind of sucks for him. I guess we should find out if he had a family and let them know, maybe give them something to help them get by.
